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4 Steps to Defeat Negativity

by Karen Garvey on 03/07/18

[REMINDER from the previous posts: There are four unique vehicles for discovery on earth that cannot be explored in other realms.  I can assist you in remembering many things that you forgot due to earth amnesia by explaining these miraculous tools for discovery.  During the next month’s essays, I will address each vehicle with tips about how to make each a beneficial opportunity rather than a force of resistance. This essay is the 5th in the series.]

When you were born, you knew you had the innate right to be happy, but since then, it has been taught or modeled to you that negativity is the primary way of the world.  If you are sincerely interested in returning to a state of positivity, then here are some suggestions that work, and they work with as much success as the vigor you put into practicing them. 

1. The body

Each body has a unique set of optimal patterns, foods, focuses, and exercise regimens, in addition to distinct likes and aversions.  As much as you may educate yourself about nutrition, exercise, as well as medications and other substances, how your choices affect your body can only be determined by you.  And whether you listen or not, your body is always attempting to direct you to a regimen that allows for your good health and vibrancy.

When you ignore patterns that are best for your body, you will likely feel more negative and make poorer life choices.  The trap is that these choices can easily become habits that feel as though they are immutable truths.  It takes less effort to eat poorly, exercise inadequately, and/or ingest substances that deplete your vitality, then it does to choose wisely for your unique body. 

Once healthy habits are formed, a large measure of negative perceptions dissolve.

One caveat:  when one obsesses with regimented eating or exercise choices, the compulsiveness will likely create more challenges than the regimen aimed to solve.

2. The focus 

Where, and with whom, are you spending your time?  What is surrounding you?  If you would like to free yourself of negativity, free yourself of negative exposure.  You’re probably thinking, “that’s easier said than done.”  And then the thinking may go to …

I would love to get a new job, but I can’t because of …

I want to lose ten pounds, but I’m just not able to because …

I really need to leave this relationship, but I can’t afford to …

Every sentence that starts with a positive focus and ends with a “but,” wipes out the good intention of the opening thought.  Get off your “buts.”  You know you can creatively improve your life and your focus.  You are strong, resilient, smart, and energetic.  Don’t let some little disempowering self-talk or poor habits prevent you from remembering these truths. 

3. The spirit

For once and for always, develop spiritual practices that you love.  Spiritual pursuits need not have any relationship with religion – they’re simply choices that promote peace, a quiet mind, and a knowing interconnectedness with the universe and all that exists.  These practices can be as simple as unplugging for an hour of solitude, walking in nature, creating something, meditating, or yoga.  You know what works for you.

4. The judgment

IF YOU DO ONLY ONE THING FROM THIS LIST – this is the one that will have the greatest long-term effect on your ability to be free from negativity.

Choose to live without judgment, and just appreciate people for who they are or what they choose.   It’s not easy, but you can, through determination, get better and better at letting go of the nasty hold that judgment has over you.

You can have and honor preferences, but your preferences do not have to be based on “better” or “worse.”  Just because you like certain things, doesn’t mean that that which you do not prefer is unworthy.  The rich variety of people, opportunity, and experiences on earth means that there’s enough for all tastes.  And what makes your heart sing may be repugnant to someone else (think eating liver lol).  

Remembering that negativity is a tool for discovery available only in the earth realm helps us to reject our alignment with it as a fuel.  And we are getting there, faster than ever.  Your intention to cut the ties with negative habits is a powerful step in that process.

The four suggestions outlaid are given in simple form.  For additional information about how to release negative thoughts, Click here for a FREE copy of my essay, Freedom From Negative Thinking, the synthesis of my powerful seminar of the same name.  Further, if you would like more clarity about any one of the above, please refer to my books, essays, audio programs, and YouTube channel.  I have delved into each topic with great depth and with powerful exercises that help the changes you intend to stick.  For the ultimate push forward, please register for my online class, Happyin90.com.  I guarantee you will be happier after completing the program and exercises in this course.  And if you’d like a little less of a boost for now, please attend my seminars.  As 2020 is approaching, our warm-up period for preparing for the new world paradigm is coming to an end.  You want to be fully equipped and ready for this exciting upcoming era.


Oh How I Suffer

by Karen Garvey on 02/02/18

[REMINDER from the previous two posts: There are four unique vehicles for discovery on earth that cannot be explored in other realms.  I can assist you in remembering many things that you forgot due to earth amnesia by explaining these miraculous tools for discovery.  During the next month’s essays, I will address each vehicle with tips about how to make each a beneficial opportunity rather than a force of resistance. This essay is the 4th in the series.]

The third vehicle for discovery that allows for the soul’s growth on earth (the first being time and the second being place/space) is negativity.  You mean, we signed up for this?!?!  It’s hard to recall that we are so thoroughly excited and altruistic in our intention to achieve our quest on earth, that we leap believing that we can overcome this enormous learning tool.

And we can.  The key to success is remembering what we knew before we were born.  

Our experience in the energy realm is one of bliss.  We are free from negative thoughts, feelings, ideas, and happenings.  We are knowingly living in the vibration of love because we are love. Earth amnesia makes us forget this truth, and the more we separate from the recollection, the more we experience pain, limits, fear, hate, doubt, and suffering while being human.

It’s not really our fault.  After birth, we are indoctrinated into the collective conversation about a limited or hard human existence.  This conversation has been going on for millennia as we fell into the trap of believing that we are separate, limited, flawed, incomplete, and unworthy.  The idea of separateness, or every man for himself, allowed us to believe that life happens randomly and the cards that we are dealt are based on luck.  Some are lucky and some are not.  These thoughts may coincide with individuals believing that they have certain attributes that contribute to their “good” luck, such as intelligence, skill, or even good genes, but for everyone that thinks he or she has a random reason to experience a better than average quality of life, there are others who think the cards they have been dealt are randomly “bad,” thus the reason for a poor-quality life. 

Although pockets of societies here and there have understood that nothing is random, it’s only in very recent years that the recall of an individual’s power to create their reality regardless of circumstances is becoming more widely embraced.  Even with that powerful knowledge, the results are not as revolutionary as they could be because humans are habitual.  It’s hard to break habits of thought, behavior, belief, or feelings.   So, although one can feel empowered by the idea of self-determination, it’s difficult to consistently execute that power. 

The primary obstacle is the existence of negativity on earth.  When we feel angry, sad, disempowered, afraid, or limited, it’s natural to fall back into the collective conversation about life being hard.  People battle the supposed hardness of life by bracing themselves for “inevitable” illness or poverty or loneliness or lack.  This approach actually invites in strife instead of joy since the energy that individuals are emitting is charged with negativity, thus magnetizing negative results. 

There is an upside to having access to negativity, however!  Whatever range of emotions we typically live within becomes ordinary even if that range is very low.  We become accustomed to feeling bad.  A drop in that feeling, therefore, can jolt us out of complacency and broaden our range of thought or willingness.  Since we become accustomed to living in a state of pain, an increase in pain is designed to shake up the foundation on which we have built our unhappiness.  It is at this moment that we may become receptive to a new perception or behavior.  We may understand in a new way something based on universal wisdom that we had heard again and again.  We may observe others clawing their way out of our state of pain and decide that we, too, can rise.

The more likely result is that we double down in our pitiful version of our own reality.  The universe will then almost magically create another opportunity for us to stumble deeper into pain with the intent of jolting us back to what we knew before we were born.

While inhabiting bodies, we are given endless opportunities to remember, and to choose, joy.  However, since the collective conversation still supports the idea that all growth is preceded by pain, we will actively seek and encourage pain to reach that opportunity for growth.  Even though we can simply choose joy, we habitually allow discomfort or suffering to spark a shift. 

Think about the level to which pain is encouraged.  Pharmaceutical ads give us the impression that we are innately unwell.  Some religions teach us that we are sinners and unworthy unless we follow a prescribed set of rules.  The media bombards us with negative news and perspectives, so much so that the phrase, “if it bleeds, it leads,” has become well known.  Oftentimes, the only opportunity to feel loved comes when one is hurt, sick, or in a crisis.  We rally around those suffering, yet, how regularly do we show that level of support or love when everything is okay?  Whole groups and families unknowingly play a down-and-out game.  The person with the worst circumstances gets the most attention.   If you are unconsciously seeking to rebuild the foundation of love that was your birthright, then doesn’t it make sense that you will need to suffer to feel visible, lovable, or worthy?

Remembering that negativity is a tool for discovery available only in the earth realm helps us to reject our alignment with it as a fuel.  Try to look at the world for the next few days through the lens of noting how negativity is propagated.   Are there a lot of people who embrace positivity and say encouraging things when someone is struggling?  Sure.  But notice how the prevalent collective conversation implies that we are not innately safe, healthy, wise, or destined for abundance.  When you dispassionately observe this widespread tendency, you take the first step toward freeing yourself from the hold that negativity has over you.

In next month’s essay, the focus will turn to mastering the rise above the negative.  Give yourself this time to digest and comprehend how the world around you has been constructed.


Here, There, and Everywhere

by Karen Garvey on 01/07/18

[REMINDER from the previous two posts: There are four unique vehicles for discovery on earth that cannot be explored in other realms.  I can assist you in remembering many things that you forgot due to earth amnesia by explaining these miraculous tools for discovery.  During the next month’s essays, I will address each vehicle with tips about how to make each a beneficial opportunity rather than a force of resistance.]

The second vehicle for discovery that allows for the soul’s growth on earth (the first being time) is place/space. In the energy realm, where we exist while not inhabiting bodies, we do not have physical places or space.  We can intentionally experience the illusion of place, but since it does not actually exist, we recognize that it does not provide any barriers.  Let’s peek at some way in which space/place can become a prevalent background for our souls’ development:

1.  First, we have the opportunity to be location-curious, meaning that when we learn about places that differ from those in our frame of reference, our curiosity can trigger expansive ways to think, feel, or take action.  Contrarily, we can also choose to largely ignore regions outside our comfort area, regardless of whether our comfort zone is two blocks wide or limited to our town or country of origin.  Imagine the complex factors that lead us to choose to venture far, or remain near our place of birth.  Life’s expansive opportunities are largely integrated with our willingness to venture to the unfamiliar.

2.  In order to process “place,” our brains have internal GPS, so to speak.  Our GPS allows us to navigate from one place to another and understand the concepts of up/down, east/west.  This GPS provides interesting chances for us to make discoveries.  Some people appear to have seemingly innate senses of direction, while others seem directionally illiterate.  Each extreme, as well as where one falls on that spectrum, gives different chances for growth.  Imagine how different a life is if you are always lost and can’t find your way versus you are the one who others lean on to get them from one place to another.  Perhaps electronic navigation systems level the difference between the two extremes, but there’s still directional literacy even when navigating a mall or a college campus, etc.

3.  A third way that space/place helps to provide a backdrop for growth is the effect different settings can have on us.  A change of scene can change our outlook.  A vacation spot can renew us.  Being in the city versus being in the country can change our relationship with our beliefs and choices.

We can learn more about ourselves and our preferences, and choose to use or not use this information to our advantage.  For example, if a person feels renewed and happy by the sea, but spends his whole life declaring why he can’t live by the sea, isn’t he choosing a belief that will create a boundary to his limitless ability to be happy?  He may actually be holding onto this belief because he doesn’t feel worthy of living where he wants to live, thus “place” gives him a chance to express a depleted love of self.   We grow by choosing or not choosing to honor our preferences in where we travel or live.

4.  Place gives an endless amount of variety for us to learn about.  It has the ability to ignite awe in us.  How can animals adapt to the desert?  How can a giant squid live ten thousand feet deep in the ocean?  What’s it like to experience only one hour of daylight at certain places at specific times of the year?  The variety in climate and topography has the ability to stimulate curiosity and zeal for the miracle that such a variety exists. 

5.  Place can ignite our sense of innovation.  The advent of every travel / recreational vehicle was stimulated by the idea that we can navigate beyond where we’ve been or faster than we’ve gone.  Think about the richness that has originated by the desire to conquer or embrace space – bicycles, rowboats, planes, rockets, RVs, race cars, trucks, roller coasters, motorcycles, sleds, covered wagons, trains, trolleys, cargo ships, ATVs, monorail, catamarans, and so on.  Collectively, advances in transportation or navigation provide the opportunity to mirror the growth of the vibrational energy of humanity. 

6.  Place also give humans an opportunity to choose their dwellings as a reflection of their souls’ growth.  One can live nomadically with portable tents, or live in a 20,000 square foot mansion.  They can live in a cave, a cardboard box, or on a houseboat.  They can live in a hut on a private island or in a tenement house.  They can live in a mobile home or a tiny house.  Each dwelling is by choice even if the inhabitant believes it to be by necessity. 

7.  Place gives us the chance to witness the difference in people, culture, and lifestyle from region to region.  This observation of difference can lead to us discovering the sameness in all as proof of our interconnectedness, or can be interpreted as proof that we are not at all connected. 

8.  As a further opportunity to innovate, place/space gives humanity a canvas on which to create habitable and / or desirable spaces.  Necessity and/or desire have stimulated indoor heating, steel framing, and housing that can withstand deserts and Arctic temperatures.  In Bermuda, for example, no ground water exists, so a roofing system was designed, and is used countrywide, to collect rain water.  The Taipei 101, once the world's tallest building, sits near a fault line, but is stabilized by an 18-foot ball of steel suspended by cables. 

9.  Space allows for an infinite amount of design possibilities as well.  Throughout history, people have created every imaginable design in architecture and decorating, from a cliff home to a cottage, from Southwestern motifs to urban loft design.  Creating space, or ignoring the aesthetics of one’s home allows for the expression of one’s selected identity at any given moment.  

10.  The overarching value that space / place gives us on earth is to perceive variety and, subsequently, to choose how large or how narrowly we want to live, conquer, explore, investigate, research, or play.

You have the ability to use this tool, space and place, as your ally by blasting through any limiting beliefs you hold that prevent you from soaring!  Go where you want, play where you love, build what feels just right for you, and let yourself explore whatever places excite you.



by Karen Garvey on 12/07/17

This essay is a continuation of the previous month's essay “What are we doing here.”  

[REMINDER from last month: There are four unique vehicles for discovery on earth that cannot be explored in other realms.  I can assist you in remembering many things that you forgot due to earth amnesia by explaining these miraculous tools for discovery.  During the next month’s essays, I will address each vehicle with tips about how to make each a beneficial opportunity rather than a force of resistance.]

TIME’s value as a vehicle for discovery is profound.  In the energy realm, there are no limits.  As souls without bodies, we can focus, achieve, expand, experience, be, see, touch, enjoy anything we want, whenever we want.  We can also experience the projection of our thoughts instantaneously, so we become immediately aware of the power and nuances of our thoughts.

One of the most profound tools for discovery that the earth plane offers us is the value of cause and effect.  Since we are linear here and for every action there is a reaction, we learn by witnessing what happens.

It’s all a great big game of “What If.”  Think about it.  From your youngest years …

What if I shove this in the socket?

What if I don’t listen to mommy?

What if I scream because I’m not allowed candy?

I remember when my son was two, we were sitting on our deck with a feral kitten that had decided to become a part of our family.  There was a bucket nearby filled with rainwater.  My son loved this kitten.  I’d never seen anything make him so happy and loving.  All of a sudden, he picked up the kitten and dropped her into the bucket of water!  My first reaction was to yell at him and criticize his cruelty.  I was shocked he would do something so unkind.  Then (thank goodness for intuition), I quickly realized that he simply didn’t know the consequence.  I put him in the bath, right?  He played in the pool, right?  So, I redirected myself fast before I blew the moment.  I rescued the kitten and said to him, “cats don’t like water at all.”  He took the wet kitten from my arms and crawled in my lap holding her.

Little by little, the consequence of our “what ifs” tell us our place in the world.  They accumulate to define life for us, a definition that is a unique consequence of what we, specifically, experience.  Those “what if” answers are all over the place.  Some guide us to safety, some guide us to fear.  Some guide us to know that we are loveable, others demonstrate that we’re unworthy.  Some seem to say that we’re invisible, yet others let us know that we are powerful.

We grow up and the “what ifs” continue.  

What if I call her stupid?

What if don’t study?

What if I sing in front of everybody?

Every single thing we do shapes our life definition.

What if I quit the team?

What if I talk back to my teacher?

What if cry?

As adults, we still play the “what if’ game in every action.

What if I’m late for work?

What if I pay for the coffee for the woman on line behind me?

What if I apply for this job?

What if spend hours on my phone?

The choices of our actions tell us what we need to know.  But things get unpredictable when we add people into the mix, because people are unpredictable.

What if I ask him out? 

What if I text her?

What if I forget to say, “Happy Birthday”?

So, we learn to trust or mistrust or override our “what ifs” as we agree to the message of earlier consequences. Perhaps we don’t make the team twice.  Do we try again?  If we feel we’re resilient and talented, we override the message that “you won’t make the team” when you try out.   Likewise, if we lack confidence, we move on, either in shame or in acceptance of the idea that we’re not good enough.

Cause and effect as a tool for discovery becomes far more profound when we begin to realize that our thoughts, and our energy, and our beliefs, create reactions.  When we recognize that we are the drivers of our reality, we can begin to see the consequence of our thoughts and feelings.  What happens when you live in fear?  The universe brings you a lot of happenings that are consequences of fear.  What if you are really confident up at bat?  The universe reacts with a good batting average. 

What if we do and do and do and do?  The universe whispers to us to slow down, to be quiet.

Consequence guides us to our souls’ discoveries in staggering ways.  When we pay attention and credit our thoughts, actions, feelings, and beliefs for our circumstances, we have aha moments.  We grow and we expand.  We get closer to the vibration of love which is our primary goal in choosing a physical life to begin with.


Perhaps the surest way to allow the cause/effect dynamic to work for you instead of against you is to improve your self-love.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:  Self-love is the foundation for all success and happiness.  Your level of self-love right now is a consequence of your lifetime “what if” game.  In some areas, you may feel on top of the world, and in others, you may whither.  It’s a journey to regain your love of self, the love that you knew before you were born.

Self-confidence brings forth an unlimited knowingness and changes your energy to magnetize in positive people, experiences, and opportunities.  As you grow your love of self, you become more attractive on the outside.  You become more magnetic, more likable.  You have a stronger sense of your life purpose which allows you to align with people and circumstances that will bring fulfillment to you and others.  Confidence is sexy, determined, and unstoppable. 

Yes, there are a lot of great things you can do out there, but do it all from a position of remembering how awesome you truly are.

Cause and effect are brilliant tools that time allows us to experience.  Remember, time is on your side if you let it be. 


What are we doing here?

by Karen Garvey on 11/03/17

Before you were born, while you were still experiencing your soul’s natural altruistic, joyful, limitless, blissful state, you made a very well contemplated decision to leap into this body.  Not only did you believe you could achieve your soul’s intention, but you also believed that you could make this place better.  When we land here, however, we experience earth amnesia, an inability to readily recall all of our eternal memories.  This amnesia sets us up for the long journey back to remembering.

There are four unique vehicles for discovery on earth that cannot be explored in other realms.  These tools are a major reason we leapt in the first place!  They can be frustrating, mystical, alluring, demanding, archaic, incomprehensible, dogged, liberating, and off-putting, but they work.  They get us engaged in the process of growth, so much so that even our unwillingness to engage creates growth.

Over the next months, we’re going to explore these vehicles, what they are, why they work, and how to use them to your advantage.  The insights you receive will lift the heavy barrier of resistance that you may have forged against these tools, allowing you to make them your ally once and for all.  We’ll uncover the magnificence of each vehicle for discovery as well as address tips about how to make each a beneficial opportunity rather than a force of resistance.

The first of the four vehicles for discovery in the physical realm is TIME.  Since its value as a tool for discovery is so vast, the topic will be covered in two essays, this one and next month’s.

As quantum physics has wonderfully proven, time as we know it does not exist.  However, since it seems to exist in the physical realm, it must be purposeful.  Think about the earth realm as a laboratory for discovery where microscopic shifts can occur.  In the energy realm, advances can be broader, perhaps less detailed.  When a soul wants to integrate a discovery, it benefits the soul to have an opportunity to study and examine it closely, in detail.  Time provides this opportunity.  Waiting provides this opportunity.  Remembering provides this opportunity.  Anticipation provides this opportunity.

Most humans live as though time is their endless enemy.  They resist their age.  They covet days gone by.  They live with regret for past actions or inactions.  They think happiness is a year away, or when vacation arrives, or when they have a baby, or when they retire, or when this report is completed.  Let’s look at some tips on how to turn that tendency around to make time your ally: 

Accept your Eternal Nature

This physical journey is just one slice in your perpetual being.  This piece is one stroke on the canvas of your soul’s existence.  It is one beautiful addition to your soul’s awakening and your increasing perpetual joy.  When you allow this fact to guide you, you can take time less seriously.  You’ll know that this lifetime is a fantastic voyage in its own right, yet all of the beauty of its existence will remain within you forever.  Just as your memories from your past comprise you, the memories of this lifetime will comprise your soul eternally.

Care for Your Body 

It’s pretty simple.  Take care of the vehicle and the vehicle will take care of you.  Eat and exercise intuitively.  There’s a magical, ever-evolving equation of self-care that keeps you running at optimal health, fitness, and mental acuity.  You have a powerful sense of how foods, drinks, supplements, medications, etc. affect you.  You also have a pronounced ability to sense when the pros or cons of ingesting anything in particular can change over time as your body’s needs evolve.  

The same holds true for exercise.  At some point during my private Enlightenment Power Groups, I often intuit for each member what the most suitable and sustainable forms of exercise are that can help him or her maintain or reach harmonious body fitness.  The “answers” that arise are received with such resonance from members that they can realize why some previous attempts at fitness have failed.  My intuition is, perhaps, highly developed, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t attune to your own optimal program. Accept your intuition.  Regardless of how many books you read or people you listen to, you are your own personal expert.


Are you afraid to get old?  Why?  Are you afraid that you will be unhealthy?  Are you afraid the best is over?  Are you afraid you will become dependent?  Are you afraid your looks will fade or you will become less desirable?  An enlightened soul knows that even though time passes, the body can support the entire journey.  The mind can support the entire journey.  Any body disharmony at any age is a message to help you become aware of an area in which you may be separating from something that matters on a soul level.  Understand and implement the message.  Scratch your misbelief that a body must deteriorate.  Eliminate the concept that frailty comes with age.  Wipe out the idea that you will not remain attractive throughout life (more on this topic next month).  Let your body support you for this entire physical journey.

Death?  What about it?  

All people die.  They live.  They die.  In the miraculous scheme of the universe, it all matters because it contributes to the never-ending growth and awakening of the individual as well as the awakening of souls collectively.  Fearing death will not stop it … it’s going to happen anyway.  So why not enjoy this time?  Immerse yourself in the physical.  Enjoy your senses.  Eat with pleasure.  Listen raptly.  See.  Be.  Smell.  Love.  Flirt.  Dance.  Be confident.  Fear less.  And know that in the eternal, souls do not feel attached to the number of years that they experience a physical lifetime; they care about how those years were spent.  How far along the path of your soul’s intent can you travel in this lifetime?  

Every age is a good age.  Every day is a good day.  Every year is a great year.  Every lifetime is a wondrous lifetime.

Blast Regret

What about your past do you wish you could have done differently?  Do you regret not following a particular pursuit?  Hurting someone?  Not standing up for yourself?  Every instance you regret an action or inaction, you petrify that moment in time.  Your perception of that moment then has the possibility of creeping into the present reality and skewing its beauty.  

Instead, discover something wonderful in the things that you regret.  Find the advantage that your action or inaction had for yourself and/or others.  The past happened.  In earth terms, it is finite. In eternal terms, it is fluid.  Your perception of it affects the present - perceive it from the perspective of its benefits and move on.

Next month, we’ll look at several other ways time stimulates the growth of the soul, but for now, remember time is on your side, if you let it be.


Author, Speaker, Intuitive, Personal & Professional Coach