Better Relationships for a Better Life
One method for increasing your happiness is to improve the nature of your relationships, and this improvement can be achieved in one of three ways:  you can weed out old incompatible relationships, you can attract in more compatible relationships, or you can improve the relationships you already have.  Actually, as a process of focusing on enhancing relationships, a combination of all three methods is likely to occur.  Expect that you will lessen (or eliminate) relationships with some, improve relationships with others, and attract in new relationships.

Compatibility is an extremely complex subject.  What makes you compatible with another?  Are you compatible with your boss?  How about your spouse or your children?  Is it at all possible to become compatible with more people?  

For most people, being compatible means that the other person in a relationship agrees with them.  The feeling of harmony that comes from someone sharing your opinion, your tastes, or your interests can make you feel like-minded.  This tendency exists for all relationships: lovers, neighbors, siblings, children, friends, teachers, bosses, and so on.  If the dominant explanation for feeling compatible is that the other person agrees with you, then it seems as though there will be a lot of people with whom you are not compatible.  It doesn’t have to be this way!  You can increase your compatibility with anyone by understanding and listening to others’ soul songs, the one ingredient that is essential to succeed in enhancing your relationships.  Discover how by reading these excerpts from THE ANSWERS:

“Love is an echo.  Each soul reverberates with a unique energy that individualizes one human from another.  This vibration is known as the ‘soul’s song.’  No two soul songs are alike; they are as unique as a human fingerprint.  When love is experienced, the one who loves echoes the other person’s soul song.  That does not mean that they mirror their image or imitate the song, but they reflect, through a sense you are probably unaware of, the soul song back.

What this means in the simplest terms is that one who loves understands the primary essence of the loved one.  What makes him or her ‘tick’?  What makes another unique, distinct, passionate, creative, happy, joyful, and special?  Even identical twins have very different soul songs from one another.

Once one understands the concept of the ‘soul song,’ he or she may understand, feel, and reciprocate love.  But not before then.

‘Love,’ as it is typically practiced, is usually a one-sided endeavor.  The other person’s actions are viewed through the incessant filter of, ‘How does this affect me?’  Parents filter interactions with their children.  Lovers filter interactions with their mates.  Children filter their view of siblings … the list goes on to include every relationship that exists: boss/employee, neighbor/neighbor, friend/friend, teacher/student.

The two parties fail to recognize the wants, fears, desires, dreams, hopes, cares, qualities, and talents of the other.  They can’t hear the other person’s soul song.  Hearing the song does not mean that people become wimpy doormats, giving everyone around them everything that he or she requests.  It means that they ‘respect’ the uniqueness of the other party.  They know that he or she has complexities that direct his or her actions that all may not be aware of, yet they exist and they are real.  Simply recognizing this fact helps people to act in a compassionate and respectful way.  It helps them to communicate their own choices and needs in a clear and open manner.  It brings people together in a level of understanding and respect that is rarely seen or strived for among humans. 

Compromise, give and take in a mutually rewarding way, takes the ability to recognize that all people have soul songs.  Even if you cannot ‘hear’ the other person’s song (you can’t understand their complexities and individualness), recognizing that the song exists allows you to make choices and act in ways that are appropriately respectful.

Comprehending the concept of the soul song benefits families, neighborhoods, communities, countries, and the world.  A perceived enemy suddenly has a soul song.  You may not hear it, but you can respect it.  An enemy nation is comprised of individuals with soul songs.  To successfully correct the relationship damage that has been done in the human world, on the individual level all the way to the international level, both sides of the relationship must comprehend the concept.  But in the meantime, the path for improvement can be paved by the one party with the awareness.”

Be mindful of the essence of others.  Even if you do not agree with their choices, styles, ideas, or behavior, you can still appreciate the uniqueness of their soul songs.  Compatibility as a measure of how much a person is in agreement with you limits your opportunities to flourish in a wide variety of relationships with a wide variety of people.  Compatibility can be viewed instead as those elements that we all have in common – we each want to be loved, valued, appreciated, and respected.  You can be in a harmonious relationship with anyone you choose to love, value, appreciate, and respect even if (s)he is dramatically different than you.  The choice is yours.  Enjoy your privilege of choice.
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Karen L. Garvey, MBA - Author, Intuitive, Personal & Professional Coach